(post by BT) It seems the longer I am in this business, the stranger the people I run into. This is what 2 moronic brokers asked me today: “Can we put our sign on your commercial listing and take yours down?” This is how it went. I get a call for a corner property / hot retail location for sale that I have listed as the exclusive broker. I have been getting tons of calls and a few serious ones that should turn into offers. But none like this call. When they popped the question, I knew this was a future broker tale! So they call and ask if I am co-broking. Of course, I tell them. They said they’d like to meet with me - they have buyers for this property. No need to meet, I tell them, unless you have an offer (which, I soon was to learn, they took out of content). They will show the property to their buyer, and will call me. The next day I get a call: “We showed it and need to meet you.” I am standing in my office when I see two confused-looking guys staring at the huge awning and poster in my office window, both with the name of the business. I open the door, say “Can I help you”. They say they are looking for this (mine) address. I point to all of the signs above and in front of them… “Yes, but we are looking for the address.” Already I know their brains don’t function properly. They enter my office. “We have many buyers for this property, blah, blah.”, as if I were a seller and they were pitching me for a listing agreement. You understand I am the broker, not the owner, I say. They want to see a co-broking agreement to make sure they can get paid. It’s on MLS, I tell them – that means we co-broke. The both erupt, shouting in there language (Korean), talking loudly to each other. “You put on MLS? Oh, no!!!” What’s wrong with these nuts? Listen guys, I don’t have time. Get to the point or get out. Do you have an offer? “Yes.” Okay, where is it? “We have buyers but we can’t bring them with your sign on the building because they will call you instead.” Huh? “So, our offer is to put up our sign, and you take down yours.” What? Who? Are you stupid? No, seriously, guys… What do you want? “We want to put our sign up on the building for sale.” It hits me that they are really serious. Now, these guys are like in there 60’s. This is what you came here for? I could be focusing on getting new business and you waste my time with this? Get out of my office. (I should report you for ignorance!) So, jokingly, I make them an offer: Put up your sign, I give you my listing and you give me $20,000 in cash. “What?” Correct. You pay $20K and it is yours. Put a sign, no problem. “Huh?” I repeat with serious face – yes, the listing is yours for $20 grand. They look at each other, get up and say they will call me Monday. Imagine if they come Monday back with the money? LOL!

BAD REAL ESTATE AD PHOTO OF THE DAY

This is a candidate for the worst property photo for a real estate ad. What the F?!! You be the judge… see these other ones: Where’s the House? , Drive-by House Shooting or Grandma’s Real Estate Garden . Yes, I know it can’t be… but these REALLY are pictures posted by a Realtor to advertise his listings for sale. No, I am not messing with you. The author of these pictures must be buggin’ out.

Pic #1: Taken during a drug bust?

Pic #2. Peekaboo!

Pic #3: Pawn shop for sale.