(post by BT) Next time you are renting an apartment in NYC and decide to work with a Realtor to find your dream apartment (well, a dream rental – a short-term dream) then consider asking the following to your list of questions about the place…. What category does the landlord/owner fall into?

Here are eight types of New York City landlords:

Virgin landlords – This one is really bad for real estate agents who represent them, not the tenant as much. They just bought their 1^st property. They too were renters, just like you, not long ago. And now that they are the “landlord”, they got a boost of ego! “I know we agreed on $1,200 but I changed my mind. I want $1,300 now.” Huh?! Here is what they are thinking: I don’t care about market facts you give me. Fact is, I want more than it’s worth and I am willing to wait. One month later: “Why is it not rented? What do you mean, let’s reduce?! OK, so you are not going to call me when every time someone calls or shows up to see my apt? Why not? I need to know who is coming, were they are from, how much they were paying before, and where… Why this, why that. Aaaaggggr! I told you, when I have someone who wants it and who meets your criteria, I will give you the details then. Not every time I get a phone call. That’s why you hired me, remember?!

Slumlords – Need I say more? Every detail I suggest you fix or correct (even if for your own good and to protect you as a landlord) is getting me closer to being “fired”. “What do you mean I should hire an exterminator? The broken handrail in the hallway has not been a problem for the past 15 years.”

Professional landlords – My favorite, and this should be yours two! I love these people! They are my best clients when it comes to rentals. They make a living mostly off of you living in their buildings. They take care of things quickly, they have full time staff that handles problems, and they upgrade their properties as necessary. They keep buildings well maintained. They fix problems before the building department tells them to. They even pay our fee (sometimes) because they understand that the faster we rent it, the faster they get paid. They do what it takes to get a good tenant and keep him/her, as well. They play by the rules. This is the one you want to ask for, if you like multi-family or larger mixed-use buildings.

Owner-occupied landlords (young) – Live in the building. Thay don’t care about your lifestyle too much, as long as you don’t smoke anything in the apartments and the rent is paid on the first of every month. They have a mortgage to pay and respect your way of living but if you mess up, you are gone! If you pay on the first and don’t bother them for little things, you can stay for the same rent amount with no increase, pretty much as long as you want. These guys are generally OK. You know how I know? I’m one of them!

Owner-occupied landlords (retired) – The next worst thing to being a slum lord. I often walk away from these people, no matter how much they want or need to hire me. You know why? For one, many are racist and blatant about discriminating. Second, they think “This is MY house, so housing and tenant laws that have been put in place don’t apply to me.” They live down the stairs from you. Complain that you make to much noise going up the stairs. Complain that your TV is too loud. They fix nothing for you, always telling you that you broke it so why should they fix it. When they were young, nobody took care of their place for them! “What’s wrong with the carpet? So, it’s 30-years old. You change it if you want a new one. They want market rent for a 30-year old apartment with the original appliances and décor. Amazingly, the only time they don’t complain is when you bring hot girlfriend over and make some noise in bedroom with her. Free entertainment, baby!

Capital gains landlords – They buy large apartment building, look for squatters like the guy who lives in grandma’s rent-controlled apartment, paying $500 for a $1,600 unit. They fish them out, then evict them. Make their upgrades, increase rent, bump up the building’s value, build a large portfolio over several years and walk away a billionaire. Just hope the place where you are staying isn’t purchased by one of these fellows. They will, legally, find a way to increase your rent to the max, and don’t you be late paying rent. That’s one way to start getting you out, buddy.

Non-owner-occupied loonies – Even though they don’t live in the building, they want to open up every time we need to show. Even though the apartments are vacant, they don’t give us a key so they can screen you through with their own eyes. We have to show around their schedule, which is never accommodating for potential tenants, and it ends up taking ages to rent the freaking place. Then, at the end, they ask you why it is taking to so long to rent. This is also another category I try to stay away from.

Non-owner-occupied (laid back) – My favorite small-timers. They have maybe one or two 2-4-unit buildings. They actually completely trust you to get the job done. This is on the side for them, and they like it to stay that way. They understand that when we bring a tenant, we verify all the information like credit/employment/income, and when someone wants the apartment we will take care of the money. Since these landlords usually never ever worry about things, they are so laid back and hands-off, believe it or not they NEVER have any DOB or tenant problems. They always end up with the best tenants, they don’t raise your rent much and they never bother you. If you like 2-4-family buildings, this is your dream landlord.

Can’t wait to report to you on a new, apparently emerging type - foreign corporate landlord – benefiting from the weaker dollar!